RIDGE RUNNER CHRONICLES: Do You Still Matter?

By Editor | February 17, 2026 |

Do you still matter? In other words, do other people still regard you as an important ingredient in their lives. That is the topic of a new book released two weeks ago that deals with a persistent issue for many of us, especially those of us who have retired, who now have an empty nest on our hands or who have pulled up roots and moved away from where we have lived for years. The book is entitled “Mattering” and was written by Jennifer Wallace. “Mattering” for her means “the assurance that our presence and actions are significant to others.” Or, as she quotes the American philosopher, William James, “the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated by others.” That is so true and it never goes away.
There are many folks today who suffer from loneliness, anxiety and polarization; much of this was brought upon by conditions beyond our control—Covid, the internet, AI and many other aspects of modern life that have removed the truly human aspect of our relationships with others. According to Wallace, over the past few years there has been a “ friendship recession” where between 15% to 20% of those interviewed had no close friends at all and many more who no longer have those contacts that made them feel appreciated.
Wallace attempts to show us, with real life examples, how we can turn this trend around simply by making the extra effort to let other people know that they matter to us. For example, there is a grocery chain in the Netherlands, known as “Jambo”, where there is one check-out lane in every store that is specifically reserved for those who appreciate knowing that the clerks in that store really care about these customers. When you come through that check-out lane, you will have an extended conversation with the clerk—what you are having for dinner, how your kids are doing, and so on. It might take an extra 15 minutes to go through that particular check-out lane, but the customers going through that lane know that they matter. Many of those choosing that check-out lane are elderly folks who just enjoy having a conversation with a real person; maybe it’s the only face to face conversation they will have with another human all week.
There are plenty of examples in this book that can help you combat this feeling that you no longer matter. But it all boils down to the fact that if you let others know that they matter to you, they will, one way or another, make you feel appreciated too. It turns out to be reciprocal.
The book, “Mattering,” while being a quick read, is likely to give you a new perspective on dealing not only with your own sense of whether you “matter” anymore but also how to make the world better for others around you. Sure, your mom may have taught you these social graces years ago but it doesn’t hurt to go back for a refresher course, especially now.
Note: This is why it is so pleasing to have a dog. Day in and day out, you will always matter to them.
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■ Bill Hoagland has practiced law in Alton for more than 50 years, but he has spent more than 70 years hunting, fishing and generally being in the great outdoors. His wife, Annie, shares his love of the outdoor life. Much of their spare time is spent on their farm in Calhoun County. Bill can be reached at [email protected].